Diary of a Bibliophile

It was the day of the wedding. The already stunningly beautiful reading room at the New York Public Library was decked out in the most beautiful red and white roses, the pews were lined with lace, and there was a beautiful white carpet and altar set up for the ceremony, lined with more rose petals.

Jon and Stephen had decided to honor tradition and not see each other until the ceremony. When it was almost time, they dressed in their tuxedos, slipping a rose inside their lapel, Jon’s red, Stephen’s white. They both had their engagement bands on, but Steve had bestowed specially made wedding bands to them as a gift the day before.

They were wide gold bands, but with silver engraving on them. One said ‘Ego diligo vos’, meaning ‘I love you’ in Latin for Stephen, and ‘Ani ohev otcha’, meaning ‘I love you’ in Hebrew for Jon. They were both very touched by such an extravagant and thoughtful present.

Steve held onto the rings, as was his duty as best man, and the relatives began to show up for the wedding. Stephen and Jon’s mothers both came in to usher their sons down the aisle. All of Stephen’s brothers and sisters came as well, to see their youngest sibling finally tie the knot. Jon’s brother came along too. All the Daily Show correspondents were made groomsmen and bridesmaids, happy to be considered as part of the ceremony. Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello were also there.

There was a bit of confusion as to how the ceremony would go, seeing as Jon was Jewish and Stephen was Catholic, but they managed to figure out a plan. A priest and a rabbi would both officiate over the ceremony, each delivering a part of the sermon. The priest would deliver Stephen’s sacraments, and the rabbi would do the same for Jon.

They were going to have the ceremony in New York, then they were going to drive into Massachusetts to fill out a license. New York honored out of state licenses, and now that Massachusetts allowed out of state couples to marry, it seemed the best idea.

The two had gone home with different people that night, where they stayed up writing their own vows for the ceremony. After the wedding and reception, they wouldn’t go back to their apartment, they had decided to stay in a hotel that night, and were generous enough to make sure everyone who flew in got a room, before leaving the next day for their honeymoon.

Stephen already had a honeymoon planned, but he wouldn’t tell Jon where they were going, just to have some bags packed, and it was driving Jon crazy. Paul was holding onto the tickets, and he stubbornly refused to give Jon any information, except that he’d have a great time.

The music was set up in a large yet not very visible sound system, and all the songs for the ceremony and reception were already planned. Their cake was a beautiful five-tier masterpiece, with creamy white icing, yet with a rich chocolate inside. It was decorated with sugar roses and had two grooms on the top.

Now the time finally drew near for them to be united. The priest and the rabbi walked into the reading room and stood at the altar, and the guests began to come inside, taking their seats. The groomsmen and bridesmaids were standing in their positions at the altar holding red and white roses, and Steve was in his place as best man, with the rings in his pocket.

As everyone waited for the ceremony to begin, Jon and Stephen were in separate rooms, with their mothers waiting to give their sons away to be married…

“Stephen, I’m so happy for you.” His mother told her son, her face abeam with love and pride. “Jon is a wonderful man, and I’m overjoyed to be gaining him as another son.”

Stephen bent down and gave his mother a loving hug. “Oh, Mom, I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear you say that. Thank you for loving us.”

“I’m glad that you’re happy, dear.” She told him. “You’ve grown up to be such a wonderful young man. Your father would’ve been very proud of you.”

Stephen nodded and smiled. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Jon, you look so excited.” Jon’s mother told him, catching hold of his hands. Jon nodded and smiled.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” he said. “I’m about to get married!”

She hugged her son. “Stephen’s a wonderful match for you, darling. I’m glad that you two found each other.”

He hugged her back. “Thanks, Mom.”

The opening instrumental strains of Moon River by Henry Mancini let the guests know that the grooms and their mothers were about to make their entrance. They all stood as Stephen entered first, his mother on his arm, and they strolled down to the altar. Jon and his mother walked in after them, coming to the altar as the song ended.

“Who gives these men away to be married?” The priest asked.

“We do.” The women said proudly.

Jon and Stephen kissed both of their mothers and gave them hugs. “I’ll take good care of him.” Jon whispered to Mrs. Colbert. “I know you will.” She whispered back, before the two mothers went to take their seats.

Jon and Stephen walked the rest of the way to the altar and slid their hands together. Jon’s crystal blue eyes gazed deeply into Stephen’s chocolate brown eyes, both pairs beginning to get glassy with tears of happy emotion.

The priest and rabbi made the motion to let the audience know they could sit down. The priest spoke first. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together Mr. Stephen Tyrone Colbert…”

“…and Mr. Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz, in holy matrimony.” The rabbi finished.

The priest nodded and spoke again. “These two gentlemen began as friends, then grew into lovers, and today, they shall become beloved husbands. The meaning of a marriage has always been the same. For two people to decide to go on a journey together through life, full of trust, friendship, and above all, love.”

“These two gentlemen are prepared to make their vows in the eyes of the Almighty, their friends, their family, and each other to become bonded souls for life.” The rabbi continued. “The vow is not one to be taken lightly. You shall be one soul, forever and for all time. Nothing can ever break the bond of love that you two have wrapped around you.”

“The grooms’ friend, Mr. Steven Carell, has asked to sing a song in tribute to the two men.” Stephen and Jon looked to Steve in pleasant surprise. All eyes turned to Steve as soft music began to play through the room.

Steve smiled at his friends, then began to sing in a strong yet soft and beautiful voice, the beautiful song by Simon and Garfunkel:

“When you’re weary, feeling small,

When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all.

I’m on your side. When times get rough,

And friends just can’t be found,

I will lay me down.

Like a bridge over troubled water,

I will lay me down.

When you’re on the street,

When evening falls so hard,

I will comfort you.

I’ll take your part.

When darkness comes,

And pain is all around,

I will lay me down.

Like a bridge over troubled water,

I will lay me down.

Sail on by.

Your time has come to shine.

All your dreams are on their way.

See how they shine.

If you need a friend,

I’m sailing right behind.

Like a bridge over troubled water,

I will ease your mind.

Like a bridge over troubled water,

I will ease your mind.”

The original lyric was ‘silver girl’, Steve had made a slight change, yet nobody present cared. They all knew Steve had a great voice, and he just gave a very beautiful rendition of what was always a beautiful song. Everyone, Jon, Stephen, the guests, even the priest and the rabbi, were in tears. The two men walked over and quietly hugged Steve and thanked him, before going back to their spots and joining hands again.

“The two gentlemen have prepared their own vows, which they shall now recite to each other. Stephen, would you care to begin?” The priest gestured to him. Stephen nodded to him in thanks and cleared his throat.

“Jon, you’ve always been my most trusted friend, in that I trust you with my secrets, my arms, my life, and my heart. There has never been anyone I’ve loved as much as you, and you will be the man who I will continue to love with all my heart, for the rest of my life.” At Stephen’s words, Jon’s tears finally started to roll down his cheeks. “Every night when we go to sleep, I always feel you in my arms, hear you breathing, feel your heartbeat. I want to feel and hear it for the rest of my life, because it makes me feel like the luckiest and happiest man alive. I love you, Jon Stewart.”

Jon sniffled a bit, yet still wore a smile. Stephen looked into his eyes and saw the hot, loving glow in them. His eyes were like candles, two bright brilliant candles that would never be extinguished even when harsh winds blew about them. “And now, Jon shall recite his vows to Stephen.” Jon cleared his throat and began.

“Stephen, you are also my best friend, one who I know will keep me safe, will always be by my side, when life begins to get rough. You are everything in the world to me. Your love is what keeps me alive and happy.” Stephen’s tears escaped at this point as well. “I always want you by my side in the road in life for as long as we’re together. Forever. I never will love anyone else as much as I love you, because there’s no room for anyone else in my heart but you. I love you, Stephen Colbert.”

The priest smiled at Stephen and began to administer the sacraments. Stephen knelt down and crossed himself as the priest blessed him. When that was over, the rabbi poured a glass of sweet wine. “In Jewish custom, I ask the two men to share this glass of wine to signify their new life together.”

Jon took a sip of the wine and handed it to Stephen, who also drank from it. They handed it back to the rabbi. “Mazel Tov.” Jon and the rabbi said to each other. The priest nodded to Steve. “May we have the rings, please?”

Steve handed the two men their rings. Stephen held the ring as the priest spoke. “Stephen, do you promise to be Jon’s true and faithful husband, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“Actually, can we take that part out?” Stephen asked him. He smiled at Jon again. “I have a feeling we’ll be together longer than that.”

Everyone broke into fresh tears again at that sentiment. The priest smiled. “Do you promise to be Jon’s true and faithful husband, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forever?”

Stephen slid the ring onto Jon’s finger gently and whispered, “I do.”

Jon held his ring in place and the rabbi spoke to him. “Jon, do you promise to be Stephen’s true and faithful husband, in the name of Holy Israel, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forever?”

Jon slid the ring onto Stephen’s finger and said softly, “I do.”

The two men slid their hands together again, and the priest spoke again. “If there’s anyone here who objects to this union, please leave now.”

A soft chuckle rippled through the room at the comment. The priest and the rabbi spoke together. “And now by the power vested in us through the Almighty, and in the eyes of their friends and family, we declare you two to be beloved husbands. You may kiss.”

They both gently brushed the tears from each other’s faces and melted into the sweetest kiss of their lives, wrapping their arms around each other tightly. Everyone began to clap and cheer at the sight of the two men finally being united as one.

Stephen and Jon gently broke apart and smiled brightly at each other, their eyes so full of love and happy tears it made them dizzy. They kissed again and Jon slid his arm through Stephen’s as they stood before their friends. Steve brushed away some tears of his own and loudly announced to the entire room:

“I present to you now, Jon and Stephen Stewart-Colbert!”

The reception was a beautiful affair, in another room of the New York Public Library, with more red and white roses and lace bedecking the room, several tables and chairs, a wide space left open for dancing, and plenty of wine and champagne being poured. The centerpiece of the entire affair was undoubtedly the wedding cake, everyone was getting out cameras or cell phones and snapping pictures of the culinary creation that looked just too pretty to eat.

Steve again spoke over a microphone as Stephen and Jon entered the room on each other’s arm. “We now welcome the men of the hour, the very happy newlyweds.” Everyone clapped and cheered for them. “I’d like to give the first toast as the best man.”

Everyone raised their glasses and Amy poured some for Jon and Stephen that they also held high. “I’ve known Jon and Stephen for a long time. Stephen was my understudy at Second City back in Chicago and I was a Daily Show correspondent. They are both my very trusted friends, and I’m very happy that they found true love within each other. I can tell you truthfully, thank God they’re together…because nobody else could possibly put up with them.”

Everyone laughed at the joke. Steve raised his glass. “To Jon and Stephen!” They all echoed the cheer, clinked glasses and drank.

Amy and Paul stood. “Can we have one?” Everyone gave them the floor and Amy began. “We’ve worked with Stephen for a long while as well. We’re very happy that he found someone like Jon to take care of him, because he really can’t take care of himself without us.” Stephen stuck his tongue out at them playfully. Paul stuck his out back and spoke. “Stephen, we want to give you and Jon our blessing, to show that the torch has been passed, you’re still Mr. Noblet, but Jon is now your Geoffrey.”

Everyone smiled and chuckled. “To Jon and Stephen!” came the echoing cry again, another drink. Jon’s mother stood up, and the floor was passed to her. “Well, I’m very happy to see my little boy grow up to be married to the man he loves. It’s also nice that he’s the same height he was when he was younger.” Jon blushed and Stephen pecked his cheek lovingly with a smile. “Stephen, I know that you’ll be good to him, because I’ve never seen him happier. L’Chaim!” she toasted.

“L’Chaim!” Jon toasted his mother back, as they all drank again. Stephen’s mother stood now. “Well, as you know, I’ve had eleven children, with Stephen as my youngest son. He may have grown up in age, but I’ve always thought of him as still my little boy. He’s been a wonderful son, and I’m glad he has Jon to be by his side, because I know they’ll be happy, and I’m happy to be gaining a twelfth son in him.” Jon smiled and raised his glass slightly toward her. She continued. “Stephen, my darling son, I hope that you will be happy throughout the rest of your married life. And Jon, I’m holding you to your vow. Or I will drag him back to South Carolina so fast it’ll make your head spin.” She ordered sternly, but her eyes were dancing.

Jon cowered pleasantly. “Yes, Ma’am!” She raised her glass. “To Jon and Stephen!” everyone clinked and drank again. Stephen smiled at his mother and blew her a kiss. Steve took the microphone again and spoke. “Alright everyone, I need you to clear the floor so the two grooms can have their first dance as husband and husband.”

Stephen led Jon onto the marble floor and spun him gently, drawing him into his arms as the strains of Carly Simon played through the room:

“My romance, doesn’t have to have a moon in the sky,

 My romance, doesn’t need a blue lagoon standing by,

No month of May, no twinkling stars,

No hideaway, no soft guitars,

Or a dance, to a constantly surprising refrain,

Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true,

My romance, doesn’t need a thing but you…”

Jon and Stephen held each other and gently waltzed as the music reached their ears. They didn’t even remember anyone else was in the room, they were so lost in each other’s eyes, so delirious with happiness and love that it was intoxicating. Jon gently laid his head on Stephen’s shoulder and they swayed to the music until the song ended.

”My romance, doesn’t need a castle rising in Spain,

Or a dance, to a constantly surprising refrain,

Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true,

My romance, doesn’t need a thing but you…”

Jon and Stephen shared yet another kiss as the song ended and they began to drift back into reality, hearing everyone clap for them. “I love you.” Stephen whispered. “I love you, too.” Jon whispered back.

After the dance, the reception was in full swing. Romantic and upbeat music played softly through the room, everyone was chatting and dancing and drinking and having a great time. Stephen and Jon each shared dances with their mothers, Stephen danced with Amy, Samantha and Jason shared a dance, having happy memories about their own wedding. Everyone who was already married seemed to be falling in love all over again.

Finally the time came for the cake to be cut. Jon and Stephen snapped pictures of their own, in awe of how beautiful the cake looked. “It’s too beautiful to eat.” Jon said. Stephen shook his head. “Hey, if it’s got chocolate inside, looks be damned.” Jon chuckled as they both picked up the knife and cut into it together in front of their guests.

They picked up pieces of the cake, smiling at each other as they looked like they would smash it in each other’s face, as was tradition, but instead they turned around and smashed them in the faces of John and Wyatt, them being the closest friends near. Everyone laughed as John and Wyatt sputtered and wiped cake out of their eyes and off their glasses. “It’s your wedding, so we’re letting you live.” John told him. “For now.”

“But when you get back to work, watch out.” Wyatt said as well. Jon clutched Stephen in a mock frightened way before they all laughed. Everyone was served and started to eat. Stephen’s eyes rolled back into his head at the pleasant taste. “Oh my God, it’s so moist and rich…” He moaned.

Jon rolled his eyes, but in a different way. “Save it for the honeymoon, Stephen.” Stephen grinned and fed him a bite, then gave him a loving kiss. “Can you believe we’re married?” Jon asked him softly. Stephen put down his cake and took his hand, the bands made a small clink as they came together. “It hasn’t fully sunk in yet, but I have the whole rest of my life to realize it.”

Jon kissed him for what had to be the hundredth time that day, but he would gladly do it a hundred more times. “I’m so happy to finally be your husband.” Jon whispered, tears springing again to his eyes as he said the word. Stephen gently leaned in and nuzzled his neck. “Me too.”

Samantha and Rob came up to them. “You two really know how to cuddle.” They smiled at their friends, not taking their arms off each other. Samantha smiled at them. “The wedding was absolutely beautiful, you guys. Jason and I are having a wonderful time.”

“It is a really beautiful affair.” Rob said, taking a sip of his wine. “I’m glad you two are happy.”

Jon kissed Stephen’s cheek. “We are.”

The reception went on for several more hours, everyone pleasantly inside the little world where love and happiness were the only emotions felt. When time finally came to go, everyone was tired but still disappointed that it was over.

Everyone gave the grooms kisses and hugs before they left for the hotel, wishing them a happy honeymoon and best wishes for the future. Jon and Stephen walked outside of the library and got into their limousine, telling the driver to take them to the hotel. “I can’t wait to have our first night as husband and husband.” Stephen whispered to him.

“And what would that entail?” Jon whispered back, heat rising to his face and neck.

“Why, I plan on ravishing you over and over again, Mr. Stewart-Colbert.” Stephen said silkily into his ear, gently beginning to nip at Jon’s neck. Jon craned his neck to give him better access, feeling his excitement start to grow in more ways than one.